Feeling Lost and Slightly Betrayed

So. It has been quite a long time since I posted on this site. And now it is for all those that I left behind me when I moved away. Strange though that the entire reason I am writing this post, the person I thought I could trust, won't ever see it. And to those of you who know what happened, no, it's not her. It is someone I called a friend. Someone I had hoped that if I needed to turn to them in a time of need, a crisis of faith about myself and even a depression that was unexplainable, they would be there like all the times before. And yet. I was wrong... Foolish of me to think that those I open my very being up to would stay long enough to help me. That's not saying there are those of you I have opened up to who have abandoned me. But with this friend... They knew my very essence and my core. What I stand for and even what my soul is. And in my moment of need for their words to help me. I find that they have... Left. I was a fool. Why open up at all. So to hell with it. I'm locking my heart away again. I'm sealing up my soul. Those of you who know some of what I am, you will be the few to get to see that. I was a fool to trust anyone that much. And this is my proof. It's time I tore out my heart again. It's time I became the asshole I once was.